Settling into the Depths of My Beingness

aanandi-annie-rossBy Aanandi Ross

In Satsang some years ago, I found myself kneeling and bowing at Swami’s feet, with my hands together at my heart.  I didn’t know how I got there.  Now I know, having been touched by Guru’s Grace, I was experiencing “the initiation that reveals your inherent Divinity to you, within you,” as described in the October Contemplation Article: Diving Deep Within.  In our Shaktipat tradition, things that hold you back can dissolve and transform in a moment.

Since being on this Svaroopa® path, I’ve found so many levels of Beingness to explore.  Poses, Ujjayi Pranayama, japa and meditation — these practices continually open me to profound and mystical moments.  They offer a height of awareness that I never could have dreamed up in my small mind.  In the depths of my being, I sometimes sense a deep, dark, rich soil, deep in my core, slowly tilling itself, rolling and cultivating.  This seems to breathe me into more and more Beingness.

 

meditate-aanandi.jpgAdmittedly, sometimes it isn’t easy.  Yet I see that my task is to stay with it.  I breathe into it, softening the densities in my mind.  As Swamiji has taught, I return to the vehicle of enlivened mantra.  I trust the process, and mantra takes me back to my Self.  Throughout life’s ebbs and flows, these practices continue to transform me. Over time, their effects settle into me more and more, anchoring into the very depths of being.

I am struck by how the effects of inner transformation create shifts in the outer world.  I look back and think, “Thank God, thank Guru these changes happened.”  It’s like I’ve tossed heavy burdens into the wind, freeing my small self from needless attachments.  I see this in so many yogis in our community, all riding the wave of Shaktipat from our Guru.  I feel that we, each in our own individualized ways, are all part of a big ocean wave.  Having filled us to our depths, the wave rolls out to others — family, friends, community, the world.  Consciousness emanates from this big wave of Oneness, expressed in a multitude of brilliant forms in our Svaroopa® yoga community.

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